A bus mix-up that pushed forward my graduation

By Mwalimu Andrew

If I had a choice, I would not pay school fees for Fiolina at Mosoriot College. Not because I do not support women empowerment.

But any honest man will tell you that this thing about women empowerment is good as long as it’s not your wife involved.

You see, a few days before Fiolina reported to college, sources closer to the source told me of how she had been telling women that in two years she would be a teacher just like me, and that she was aiming to grow in the teaching profession higher than me. “I will be a headmaster while he is still a deputy,” I hear she told her friends.

When she was reminded that I am pursuing a degree at Kenyatta University, I hear she laughed at this and told everyone that I will never graduate. “May be in 2030,” the source told me.

How then do you expect me to support women empowerment when my wife is seeing it as a way of overtaking me? It would be a great shame to have a wife who earns more than me. This is unheard of in Mwisho wa Lami and its environs.

However, so as to show the public how keen I was on seeing women develop, I am supporting the laugh of my life – even in the midst of a lot of discouragement.

For example, last week, after sharing my domestic tribulations with a few of my colleagues, Saphire advised me on how to counter Fiolina. “Ask her to show you her report card,” he told me. “Reading her SMSs, I am sure she does not perform well. Confront her and she will go quiet.”

DISMAL PERFORMANCE

While I suspect that Fiolina’s academic performance is dismal, I could not dare ask her. Where will I take my ears were I to ask her about such a sensitive issue? For my safety, I have been telling her friends how she performs so well in college.

So if Fiolina thinks that she will graduate from Mosoriot before I get my degree, she is in for a rude shock because I am quite keen on completing my degree course as soon as it is academically possible.

You must already be aware that the reason I have not yet graduated is a certain unit called Statistics – and my two attempts at the unit have both ended in failure as the unit involves lots of math and calculations – things that I will never apply while teaching Kiswahili and CRE.

After consulting Pius, he got someone at KU who promised to take me through tuition to help me pass with flying colours. The guy told me that all I needed was to come to KU, register the unit and that I did not need to attend any class. “No one goes through my tuition and fails that paper.”

I was ready to do anything to pass the unit so I quickly agreed. I therefore planned to travel to Nairobi over the vacation to deal with this delicate academic matter. I was still planning this when Samuel, the tutor, called me last Tuesday telling me that the deadline for registering for the exams was noon last Wednesday – and that I had to do it in person. It meant that I had to be in Nairobi before Wednesday noon.

There was one problem. Msamaria Mwema is not licensed for night travel. The earliest I could leave for Nairobi would be the next day with the first Msamaria Mwema, and that would get me to Nairobi at 3 p.m. at the earliest. It looked as though I would not make it to KU in time.

“Why don’t you use Easy Coach?” my brother told me when I informed him of my predicament. “They travel at night.” But Easy Coach doesn’t come to Mwisho wa Lami and so I immediately travelled to our county headquarters to book a Nairobi-bound Easy Coach.

Luckily for me, the bus wasn’t full and I booked a 9 p.m. bus. With a lot of time on my hands, I went to Teachers Tavern where I met other teachers and we settled down for one or two. I left them at the Tavern a few minutes to  9 p.m. and was just in time before the bus left.

The bus was not so full and I had two seats for myself which I lay on. The seats in Easy Coach were more spacious and softer than what I was used to; and since I was tipsy, I quickly fell asleep. I was woken up by the driver who shouted; “Dakika ishirini pekee.”

Everyone walked out and I followed them. As I walked out, I asked the conductor where we were and he told me we were in Nakuru. It was 2.30 a.m.

STAGGERING LOSS

There were so many other Easy Coach buses parked and after noting where ours was parked, I followed the others to the toilets.

There was a long queue and I was shocked when I was asked to pay to use the service. I had never heard of that. There was no way I was going to waste my precious Sh10 to pay to use a toilet. No way.

I walked away towards the hotel where I ordered for ugali matumbo. I also ordered for Stoney Kubwa to help me take the food down smoothly.

I was seated next to our driver but he was soon joined by other drivers and since they were all in uniform, I was not so keen to try to tell him from the others.

I took my time with the food, and having not taken supper; I asked for and was given ugali and matumbo sosa, which I put down with a Stoney Ndogo. Once done, I bought groundnuts, then walked to the bus. There were several buses but I got onto ours. Once I go to my free two seats, I did not check anything else, but lay down, and was soon asleep.

I expected to be in Nairobi before 5 a.m. I woke up at 5.30 a.m. and the bus was still moving, it felt a little strange but I went back to sleep, only waking up when the bus stopped. It was around 6.30 a.m., and when I looked out, the place did not look as busy as I had expected. But I wasn’t too worried as I had never been to Easy Coach’s Nairobi offices.

I got concerned because I could not trace my bag and it was only after I asked for my bag that I was shocked to learn that we were in Busia! I had entered the wrong bus at Nakuru.

I have never been ashamed in my life.

Not only was I going to miss registering for Statistics and completing college this semester, I also had lost three pairs of my top quality blue polyester Kaunda suits.

Crestfallen, I walked to a hotel, where I took tea and chapati, and then travelled to Mwisho wa Lami, arriving early in the afternoon. I never told anyone what had transpired.

This story first appeared in the Sunday Nation on 7^th December, 2014